Mother's Day

Oh Mother's Day. Once upon a time in my selfish delusion I thought you would somehow make up for the all sacrificing a mother does for her family. When I was a new mom and being a mom was so new, I set my expectations for Mother's Day pretty high. I was often disappointed and a huge turd to be around. It was a pretty intimidating and high-stakes game for my family and I totally regret it. I've finally come around to realizing they don't owe me anything, because it's pretty impossible at this point to make up for all the crap I do parental love and sacrifice.

My own mother reminds me often about how terrible it was to be in labor with me for something like 48 hours hooked up to Pitocin after being pregnant with me for 43 weeks. Just when she was 10 centimeters dilated I flipped around to the breech position and the nurse had to manually turn me head down. She says it hurt a little bit. So every Mother's Day I'm like, "Sorry Mom. Here's a macaroni necklace." And I'm pretty sure that's not making up for any of it. I mean I was a real pain of a child. So this year I sent her this.

I hope you have fun this Mother's Day. I love you mom and I hope you know it! You should read my blog and stop saying it's weird and that you don't really get it! And if you are a mom too may your heart be full and your expectations be low, because sometimes kids are jerks. Happy Mother's Day!

And if you don't have a six year old daughter, and you don't know what Shopkins are, then consider yourself lucky because nothing annoys me more then shelling out money for plastic junk that targets and glorifies the compulsive consumerism of our culture. It's buying useless stuff designed to look like you are buying useless stuff. So many layers of uselessness.

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